Elite

Tom Brady

I feel like it’s pretty obvious at this point, right? [insert goat emoji here]

Aaron Rodgers

Highest passer rating in career in NFL history. 4.23:1 TD-INT ratio. Hail Mary god.

Drew Brees

7x NFL Passing Leader. Five 5,000 yard passing seasons. Most career passing yards and completions. Highest career completion percentage.

Great

Patrick Mahomes

Second year in the league leading to MVP. 50 touchdowns. Side-arm gawd. Future of the NFL.

Russell Wilson

Probably elite maybe. [Malcolm Butler thinks not] 6x Pro Bowler. Consistently terrible offensive lines. Best QB in Seattle history. 64.2 completion %.

Matt Ryan

Should be a Superbowl champion. [insert 28-3 joke here] NFL MVP 2016. 65.3 completion %.

Ben Roethlisberger

2x Superbowl Champion. Ran AB out of town. Most career 500+ yard passing games. Most passing yards and touchdowns in Steelers history

Philip Rivers

Current leader in consecutive starts by active quarterbacks. Underrated. Accurate. Hella kids

Above Average

Andrew Luck

Durability concerns hold him back from being great. Holds nearly every rookie passing record. Nice guy.

Deshaun Watson

Near MVP candidate his rookie year before tearing his ACL, Longest streak of games with 3 or more passing touchdowns by a rookie in NFL history. Strong arm. Accurate.

Carson Wentz

MVP candidate in 2017 before ACL tear. Durability concerns hold him back. Has everything it takes to be elite. Super cool guy. Ginger beard

Baker Mayfield

Rookie passing TD record holder (in only 14 games) Electric personality. Great field vision. Elite. Exciting. Can do the “Orange Justice.”

Matthew Stafford

Lowest career interception percentage. Fastest player to reach 15k, 20k, 25k, 30k yards consecutively. Most passing yards in first 100 games. Underrated. Nice beard

Cam Newton

NFL MVP 2015. 7x NFL Top 100. Highest completion percentage of career last year. (67.5%) Most QB rushing touchdowns in NFL history. Dresses weird.

Jared Goff

2x Pro Bowl. Improved every year. Most improved player 2017. Bad Superbowl performance. Can’t eat red meat.

Average

Nick Foles

Superbowl Savior. Pro Bowl 2013. Superbowl MVP. Highest career passer rating in Eagles history (92.9) 7 tudders in a game. Rather large male gland.

Dak Prescott

2x Pro Bowl. 66.1 completion percentage career. Under 4,000 yards each season. Doesn’t turn the ball over. Benefits from great OL and running game. Romo was better

Derek Carr

3x Pro Bowler. Gets sacked a lot. MVP candidate in 2016. Accurate. Can thrive with weapons.

Jimmy Garropolo

Got money. Tears ACL. Two Rings. Learned behind the GOAT. Tons of potential.

Mitchell Trubisky

Pro Bowl 2018. Beat Packers to win division. Numerous rookie and non rookie passing records in Bears history. Mr Biscuit

Marcus Mariota

Numerous Titans records. Most games with at least 3 touchdown passes by an NFL rookie. Threw a touchdown pass to himself.

Kirk Cousins

Pro Bowl 2016. 95.0 passer rating. Redskins best 300-yard passing games in career (24) Isn’t actually Captain Kirk. You like that?!?!

Andy Dalton

3x Pro Bowl. Bengals record holder in career Passer Rating as PYPG. Two 4,000+ passing yard seasons. Missed playoffs in last four seasons. Has weapons to succeed. Red Rifle

Eli Manning

Giant record holder in passing yards, passing touchdowns, and pass completions. Should be NFL leader in consecutive starts. (Thanks McAdoo), Patriot Killer. Miracle Thrower.

Below Average

Lamar Jackson

He’s an interesting NFL quarterback prospect. He doesn’t throw the ball extremely well. Great athlete with tons of potential. Needs work. Mark Ingram will be extremely beneficial to him.

Alex Smith

Always extremely efficient. Likely might be done for his career though due to an extremely gruesome leg injury.

Case Keenum

Likely Redskins starter. Extremely bland quarterback. Doesn’t do anything exceptionally well.

Ryan Fitzpatrick

Most career touchdown passes by Ivy League quarterback. Most consecutive 400 yard passing games. (4) Eight different teams. Wonderlic majesty. Fitzmagic baby.

Joe Flacco

Superbowl champion. Strong arm. Chance to revive career in Denver. Most touchdown passes in post season history. Most road playoff wins.

Josh Rosen

Very poor rookie season. Rumbles of Cardinals taking Kyler Murray. Could be a fresh start for him. Cocky attitude. Chosen Rosen. Gets a “Garbage” pass for being a rookie

Sam Darnold

Posted highest rookie season completion percentage (57.7%) Decent arm. Will thrive with Le’Veon Bell as a bell cow back.

Josh Allen

Will likely end up having a successful career if he gets out of Buffalo. Can make plays with his arm and legs. First quarterback to rush for at least 95 yards in three consecutive games.

Jameis Winston

Most games of 300 yards passing in a career. Great rookie and sophomore year, but has significantly regressed. Benched two times last year for Fitzpatrick. Eating crablegs and L’s

Garbage

Ryan Tannehill 

Another failed Dolphins’ experiment. Will likely see playing time in Tennessee.

Brock Osweiler

Free agent but basically trash

Blake Bortles

Tons of potential and was a tipped pass away from a Superbowl appearance. Likely will get another shot as a starter in the NFL after a stop in LA.

CJ Beathard

He’s been decent for just being thrown into NFL action unexpectedly.

Nick Mullens

Looked rather decent and will get another shot to start in the NFL.